BREAKING NEWS: A-ROD EARNS MORE $$$ THAN THE MARLINS!
The AP reporters worked extra hard today to come up with a stunning revelation that Alex Rodriguez earns more than the entire Marlins payroll. The earth, as expected, trembled at this newly discovered anomaly.
Showing his disgust with the situation, A-Rod said:
“The Marlins? It’s amazing,” Rodriguez said. “And they still seem to find a way to be very competitive. They have a great pool of talent; they made some unbelievable trades, so they have great personnel people. To win two championships in 11 years, that’s really admirable, and I’m very proud of that organization, being from Miami.”
Adding fuel to the fire, Yankees GM Brian Cashman said:
“They’ve won a championship more recently than we have as an organization. So there’s many different ways to skin a cat,” said Yankees general manager Brian Cashman, whose team lost to Florida in the 2003 World Series. “Alex earned that contract in the negotiation. Right now, the Marlins are in a different place. But they’ve got a stadium coming on board and they’re going in the right direction, and I think they’ve already proven they know how to build something.”
Seriously people, get over it.
Update: They all hate us, they really hate us (jealousy hurts)